Well, here I am in the office. It’s just another day like so many others. I’m amazed that I’ve been able to handle it for eighteen years. I have a fifteen-minute break, so I thought I would write a few paragraphs.

I hate the office environment – sterile air, ringing phones, water coolers, office gossip, fake greetings, and pasted on smiles. Could I be the only one who feels this way? I doubt it. Most days I just feel like leaving and never coming back. Very much like the movie, “Office Space.”

My cubicle is just one among many hundreds (at least that seems like a reasonable number). The main floor is very large (at least 20,000 square feet). Along the far wall are the individual offices of the managers and senior sales. They are actual rooms with a window view. You really have to have your ass-kissing skills honed to perfection to have an office here.

Don’t get me wrong, many of the individuals with their own office, are talented and well educated. They deserve to be where they are. However, there are many people working in a cubicle on the main floor, that are just as talented, though, not as submissive to the corporation and external customers. They have a mind of there own – not that they are indifferent or lazy, just that they have stood their ground in the past when bullied by management and customers. I’m included in this group.

As a new employee starting out with this firm in 1987, I thought I had the world on a string. I had completed college in ’85 and worked as an office clerk for a company that eventually went bankrupt. I applied for a position at my current company and was hired shortly afterwards. I was bright, fresh, and eager to please. It seemed like dream come true. I had great aspirations back then, and couldn’t imagine the day would come where I literally wanted to run, screaming out of the building, never to return.

I guess I’m slightly jaded. I don’t know how many workshops, seminars, or courses it took. I don’t know how many years of office politics it took. I don’t know how many rude or irate customers it took. I only know that hope was gradually replaced with despair.

I am still putting in an honest days work. After all, I am being paid for it. I’m not the type to coast along and let others carry my weight. I might hate my situation, but the company still deserves a full day’s work.

However, I’m only here for the paycheck now. I don’t care about the corporation. I see it for what it really is. I feel no loyalty since that loyalty would certainly not be reciprocated. I don’t want a promotion. I don’t want team-building workshops. I don’t want an employee-of-the-month travel mug. I just want out.

That’s my 20 minute rant for the day. Back to work…

Selling our home is pretty much a given at this point. It doesn’t look like Donna and I will reconcile at any point in the near future. Frankly, the house now seems like a huge weight I am carrying around for no reason. As long as I am responsible for it, I will be a slave to the system.

Firstly, it’s too big for one person, and secondly, Donna will eventually want her half of the equity. I don’t have the cash on hand to buy her out, so the only logical thing to do is sell the house.

I won’t miss it, personally, since it holds no sentimental value whatsoever. In fact, it represents everything that I believe is wrong in my life at the moment.

However, the main reason for selling the house is to free up some cash so that I may pay off my debts and start a significant savings and investment account. I am hoping that by securing some investments, I will be in the position to leave my job soon.

My short-term plan is to sell the house and move back to the city. I want to try to get a place near the downtown core so that I won’t need to keep a vehicle. I’d like to either walk or take a subway to work. The money saved here will go into the “Phil Freedom Fund.”

Sorry I digress… back to selling the house. I had the real estate agent over and we worked out a few things. Several things need to be done before the house officially hits the market. Much of this is cosmetic, such as painting and repairing a few minor holes and such. I’ll be replacing the carpet in a few rooms and updating some of the plumbing fixtures.

Outside, I’ll be leveling the interlocking brick in the front walk and repairing the rear deck. There are no major repairs needed. I have replaced the roof and re-paved the driveway in the past few years.

I won’t do all this work myself. I can handle the painting and the plumbing fixtures. The rest will be done professionally. I estimate $5,000.00 to complete the work.

I’m estimating that the house will be up for sale within thirty days. I can’t wait until it’s sold.

“Diet and exercise are critical to quality of life and, ultimately, longevity.”

This is the only thing keeping me on track right now. I have been dieting for about 2 weeks and it’s not as easy as it looks. I have literally given up most of my old eating habits for a newer, healthier, alternative.

Gone are the days of bacon and eggs for breakfast, or beer and snacks while watching a game on TV. Gone are the “fries and gravy” lunches and the after-work patios.

My new diet consists of oatmeal and grapefruit breakfasts, a salad and pita bread for lunch, and fish or chicken with lots of veggies, for dinner. Oh, yeah, and eight glasses of water a day.

I’m constantly hungry.

Along with this, I have also cut out a lot of junk food, like chips and soda pop. In fact, I’ve cut out most sugar, and fillers such as bread. I admit I still can’t drink coffee without sugar.

Eating like this is torturous. I refuse to give up, though. I want to live to see my golden years. Besides, there’s so much more I would like to experience before I go.

As far as exercise goes, I just got a clean bill of health from my doctor, so I’m slowly implementing an exercise regime. To tell the truth, it only consists of a half hour walk in the evening.

Being as heavy as I am, I’m limited to what I can do. Walking seems like a good start. The neighbors must be wondering. In all the time I’ve lived on the street, I’ve never gone for a walk, not even to the corner store.

I thought about dusting off my bicycle, pumping up the tires, and taking the odd bike ride, but I look so odd at the moment (my ass covers the entire seat and then some). I’m just too big for the bike – any bike. I’d really give the neighbors something to laugh about if I started riding my bike around the block.

Eventually, I would like to start bike riding, but that’s way down the road. I need to shed at least fifty pounds first.

After two weeks of diet and exercise, I am only seeing a three-pound difference in my weight, and most of that is likely water loss. It’s a slow, depressing journey.