Ok, so you’re probably wondering why I chose to make the decisions I made, and in particular, why I started this site in the first place.

That’s a fair question, believe me. I’ve been wondering the same thing. I suppose what I am really looking for is a place to document my experiences, thoughts, day-to-day challenges and triumphs.

You might ask then, why I did not just write a personal journal. Well, another fair question. I suppose that I felt like sharing my experience with others. I mean even though each individual person has unique circumstances, there must be others out there that are sick of their jobs, or their lifestyles, or maybe both, as in my case. Some may find this enlightening or inspirational, while others might find it silly and superficial. That’s up to you. One thing I will promise is that I will always tell it like it is; period.

In order to tell you what prompted me to make these changes, I will have to let you in on a few events that occurred recently and changed the way I look at life. Basically, three things happened in a very short span that would make me re-evaluate things in short order.

1. Six months ago, I attended a funeral for one of my co-workers. Stan was a manager and worked in another department. We were friends years ago when we were both working in the London, Ont. branch. We hadn’t really kept in touch for a few years, but the news of his death came as a shock. He was 49 and died of a massive heart attack. He also left behind a young family.

His death affected me in ways I could not have imagined. I felt as though I had lost a brother. I felt so sorry for his family.

As bad as I felt for Stan and his family, in the coming weeks, I found myself obsessively thinking about my own mortality. Not only was he only 5 years my senior, he also led a very similar lifestyle to mine. I was concerned.

2. About a month ago, I received a written warning from my manager about drinking on the job.

Our department had taken one of the secretaries out for her birthday. We all had at least a pint; some had more than one. This was lunch, by the way. I was one of the individuals who had more than one beer.

Returning to the office, I was sure I had things under control. I mean, even the managers, and VP’s for that matter, had a few for lunch (I know this for a fact) on occasion.

I had settled into my cubical and was carrying on with my job, when I was approached by someone from another department and asked about some paperwork for an on-going account. 1 hour later, I was sitting in my manager’s office.
I’ll spare you the details, but needless to say I was offered help, and given a warning letter at the same time. The letter came the next day actually.

I felt like quitting on the spot. I was humiliated and felt betrayed. I had never had any sort of disciplinary action brought against me in my entire working career. I was the senior person in our department, but that didn’t seem to be worth much. I was technically intoxicated at my workstation; cut and dried. My manager is actually not a bad person, and I could tell that what he did, he did reluctantly. But rules are rules.

I hated my job before that incident, but now, I was seething. I wanted to gather all the VP’s together and just tell them exactly what I thought of them and the company. It took me a long time to cool off from that episode.

One good thing that came out of all that is that I no longer have any feelings of loyalty towards the corporation. When I finally do decide to hand in my resignation, it will be with no reserves and guilt free.

3. Now the final incident is really the straw that broke the camel’s back.

I live common-law with my girlfriend, Donna. We have been together for a few years now. We are co-owners of the house we live in and get along pretty well most times.

She is a very sociable person and one of the things we enjoy doing on the weekends is getting together with friends, whether at our house or wherever we happen to be invited to.

For the last year, she seems to be getting pretty chummy with the neighbors (Anne and Steve) 2 doors down. Actually, she is much friendlier with Steve. So much so, that I had to keep reminding myself that we are all just friends.

Now, I am not a jealous person, but the two of them just seem to have connected in some way that is beyond the good neighbor relationship. Anne and Steve usually attend the same get-togethers, and when Donna and Steve meet up, it’s like they communicate on some secret level with their sly, knowing looks. Donna perks right up when Steve is around. Others have noticed it too. I have walked into a room where the other wives have been talking. I think I know what’s going on. Again, I’m not some insecure, paranoid and jealous loser, but I hate to be made a fool of.

The weekend after my work episode, we were invited to a party at a neighbor next door. As usual, Anne and Steve were there and again my senses picked up on something between Donna and Steve.

I was still pissed off at the warning letter fiasco and I was drinking a lot more than I normally do. Around mid-night, I noticed that Donna and Steve had disappeared. Anne had also noticed this. We both walked through the neighborhood, but they were nowhere to be found. Anne started crying and I went to console her with a hug. Now I was drunk and I believe she was a little tipsy also. The next thing I did was to move my face towards hers and I tried to kiss her. I didn’t get the response I had hoped for. She turned away and immediately stopped crying. She looked at me with the coldest look I ever saw anyone give. Her only words were: F**k off. She ran back to the house and by this time the other two had returned. They had gone to get ice.

The rest of the night was a blur. I briefly remember arguing with Steve. Anne had gone home and Donna was not talking to me.

I woke up on the couch in the morning feeling more tired, sick and physically wasted than I had ever felt before. I looked at myself in the mirror and I was staring back at an old man. I was thoroughly disgusted. There I was, fat, hung-over and… “old.” I was 44, but looked like 60. I vowed that I would never touch another drop.
Little did I realize that drinking was just a small part of the overall picture.

Donna greeted me with a holier-than-thou attitude that morning. I was scolded like a small child. She seemed to take pleasure in the fact that I had gotten caught. How hypocritical can you get? I didn’t argue. I just packed a bag and left.

Before leaving, however, I went to see Anne and Steve to try to offer my apologies. As expected, they weren’t very friendly towards me. I apologized to both of them (well mainly Anne, since Steve would try the same with Donna, if given the chance) and I left. Keep in mind that I do not try it on with my friends’ wives as a habit. I felt that something was going on with our spouses and that maybe it was a way of getting even in some odd way. Really, Anne isn’t even my type.

I took a week of last-minute vacation time and headed off on a soul-searching adventure. I needed time to think clearly and make plans. I had to change my life and turn things around before it was too late. I was, after all, just 44.

A week in the wilderness can do wonders for a person. I was able to sit down and analyze things without all the “background noise.” I devised a plan and was determined to see it through.

I am living back at home for now. Donna is still here, for now, and I feel as though I have been super-charged. The act of simply making the decision to change things has been euphoric. I can’t wipe the smile off my face.

No one is talking to me yet. I don’t care, because they don’t fit into my plans anyway.

Of all the factors which negatively impact my life and prolong my years as a wage-slave, debt is by far the biggest and most formidable.

Debt will kill you slowly.

I have rated “eliminating my personal debt,” as the most important part of my plan to get back on track. Nothing can be accomplished, and no progress or decisions can be made, as long as I remain in debt.

Why? Because servicing this debt takes a good portion of my monthly disposable income. This is not improving since I am not making any dent in the actual principal amount. Because of this, I am “owned.” A person that is owned has very few choices in life. And when it really comes down to it, what I want more than anything is the freedom to choose.

I have $18,343.22 in outstanding credit card debt as I am writing this. 80% of it is a balance on my main charge card, and the other 20% is made up of balances I keep on department store cards. Does that sound shocking? Well, I am certainly not proud of it. It is embarrassing, to tell the truth. I share this with you simply because, for all intents and purposes, I am still writing this anonymously. Ah, the freedom of anonymity.

I make no excuses for it. In fact, I can’t really tell you how it got to this point. I mean, I’m hardly what you would call “irresponsible.” In fact, I was very good at handling my finances earlier in life. I had no credit card debt and would always make sure that I paid off the entire balance every month. This balance has accumulated slowly and has taken years to get to this point.

I might also add that it was not all spent on materialistic junk. Some was spent on trying to get a couple small businesses off the ground, and some was spent on things like car repairs and house repairs. Interestingly enough, the bank kept increasing my credit limit. It made me feel important in a way.

As we speak, I am funneling every last cent into paying off the credit cards. I am starting with the department store cards first, as they generate 28% interest per year and my main credit card is only 12%. I have about $3400 in outstanding principal between 3 department stores. I will start paying the minimum on my main card, and then everything else will go towards the store cards. Once they are paid off, I’ll concentrate on the big one.

I’m starting to cut back on a lot of things now. I’m taking a lunch to work and we haven’t gone out for a while. While this may work in the long run, I don’t think it will be enough to get me where I want to be quickly enough. Donna thinks I’ve lost my mind.

I think I need to start thinking bigger. I can’t reduce this debt by cutting out my morning coffee break; unless, of course, I want to retire with this company. I simply have too many expenses, plain and simple.

One thing I know for sure is that we live in a neighborhood which is probably beyond our means. There is nothing special about it. It is not a rich or even upper-middle class area, but it is the very most we can afford. It’s between middle class and upper middle class; lower upper middle class, if that makes any sense. We would not be living here if not for the low mortgage rates of the past few years. In 3 years we will be renewing at a much higher rate, I am sure.

I know most of our neighbors on the street and from conversations we have had, I can tell you that I am in the lower end of the wage earners.

Eliminating this debt must come first. There is little I can do unless I take care of this first. If I were to quit my job with this amount of debt, I would be in big trouble. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out.

I don’t want to be in the situation where I am being chased by bill-collectors. They are very aggressive these days, and also have much more power than they used to. They can, and will, make your life a living hell. I am not prepared to put myself through that nightmare.

I would like to keep my credit-rating on the positive side. While it is not five-star at the moment, it is still in good standing.

Bankruptcy is not an option either.

First of all, my debt is not really high enough to consider this. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a small amount, but it is certainly not worth the cost of bankruptcy. If I was absolutely over my head and there was no practical way to repay the debt, then I might consider that option. The debt balance would have to be much higher.

Secondly, I simply do not want my credit shattered for the next seven years.

Thirdly, I think I am a better person than that. I realize that many people who declare bankruptcy are in dire straights and it really is their only option (that’s why we have it), but in my case, I feel that there is a way to pay it off, and that I should do everything in my power to do so legitimately.

So here is my debt elimination plan:

I have two ways to decrease my amount of debt. One, I can take in more money and two, I can decrease my expenses. How simple is that? Amazingly, I’m probably one of the millions that haven’t got that simple message. Sounds simple, but making this a reality may take more than I imagine.

Now increasing my income will be difficult. I’m pretty much at the top of my pay scale for the job that I do. The last thing I want to do is bid for a promotion. I’m ok where I am for now. Some overtime is available after 5 and on weekends. I’ve not worked much lately, because of my long commute.

If I take all that is available, I can add 20 hours to my work-week. This will in effect, increase my pay by 50%. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, it will also put me in a higher tax bracket and the government will want more. Ok, so let’s say after tax, the increase will be 30%. That’s the most I can do to increase my income.

This will probably take its toll on me very quickly. It’s all I can do to stomach that place for 40 hours a week as it is, let alone 60.

Another option is to take a part-time job outside of the company. Well, if I’m going to work extra hours, I’ll work for $40/hr doing overtime in my current job, rather than working for $10/hr at a 7-11.

If I lived in the city, I could easily convert my commuting time into overtime. That is a definite bonus. It would mean selling the house, but that may not be a bad idea in itself.

So the next part of this is the expenses side. It is where I believe I can make a huge difference. There are many things I have now that I can do without. Money can be raised here through the sale of assets, and money can be saved here by eliminating on-going expenses.

The first item on the chopping block would be the house. Selling the house would free up about $50,000 in equity. In the event that Donna and I go our separate ways (which seems more likely with each passing day), it would still be 25k that I could use for debt relief. This alone would render me debt-free with enough left over to bank away for a rainy day.

If the house was sold, there would be no need for a car, as I would try to move within walking distance of my job. I would not receive anything for the car, as it is leased, but it would free up another $500/month. I would, however, have to pay out the lease, which could be pricey.

Selling miscellaneous items would generate at least 5k. There are a lot of frivolous items here. I’ve accumulated many, many things that I would not have a need for. It’s a shame that the items would sell for pennies on the dollar in most cases. Ah well, we never said this would be easy.

The final move to cut expenses would be to move to a small bachelor apartment (or even a room) in the city.

I know what you’re thinking. This will be more than enough to pay off my debts. This is true, but paying off my debts will just be a start. I’m going to have to accumulate as much money as I can to cushion the impact of quitting my job.

My plan for escaping the clutches of the rat-race is really only part (albeit, a large part) of an overall self-improvement program that I’ve set up for myself.

My goals are as follows:

Get out of debt.
Lead a healthier lifestyle.
Lose the hyper-consumption attitude.
Practice the less-is-more philosophy.
Become financially self-sufficient.
Quit my job.
Give back to the community.

If you were to ask me what it is that I want out of life, I couldn’t tell you at the present time. I do know, however, that I was not meant to live this way. My gut feeling is very strong in that regard.

The above list is roughly the order I intend to roll out this plan. I’m not sure of every little detail at the moment, therefore I cannot tell you exactly what I will do step-by-step. I wish I could be more tangible here, but this will be a “work in progress” and I’m sure that the plan will be tweaked several times. It will become clearer as time passes. I will be posting a daily account of anything relevant.

I have written a separate page outlining my thoughts and plans concerning debt. This is my number one priority and it is something that must be dealt with very soon.

I have also included a separate page in which I discuss following a healthier lifestyle. This centers on diet and exercise mainly.

Starting immediately, I will try to get by with less. I intend to sell most of the high-priced “junk” which I have accumulated over the years.

I intend to scale back my living expenses in a major way. This will enable me to bank much of what I make from my job. The money will be invested in relatively safe vehicles; T-bills and that sort of thing.

I intend to explore alternate sources of income. Realistically, I could not expect to live off of my savings and a few small investments, indefinitely. Starting a business of my own is one possibility which I have considered.

When I am satisfied that I have a sufficient amount of money saved, I will quit my job.

I will spend much of my post wage-slave hours volunteering my time and simply enjoying life.

Why do I need to do things in a certain order?

Well, let me use the following analogy:

When I was a teenager, I worked one summer for a tree arborist. The first job that our crew was assigned to was the removal of a very old, diseased oak tree on a busy street in the down-town area. There was very little room to work. We barely had room to park the trucks. The tree was massive.

I could not see any way we could bring this oak down; at least not without causing major damage to the surrounding houses.

I was not directly involved with the tree cutting. My job was to carry the branches over to the chipper. I did have a great vantage point from where to see the more experienced workers in action. I was amazed at how the problem was approached.

You see, the tree was not cut down per say, in fact, it was “disassembled” very slowly starting with the smallest branches and working towards the larger. This pain-staking process continued for most of the day. Finally, there was nothing left but the main trunk. This was then cut down in small sections, starting at the top. It took a while, but the job was completed without any problems whatsoever.

Quitting my job before having things in place would be like simply chopping down the big oak. There would be a lot of damage and would involve much more hardship than necessary.

Eliminating my debt, liquidating my assets, decreasing my expenses, and building up my bank account are things that I need to have in place before I finally tell the corporate world to stick it.

Yes, most days I feel like quitting my miserable job, but I’m also not reckless. I don’t want to end up homeless and broke.

What’s my long-term plan? I mean, not many people retire at 44. Well, as I mentioned earlier, I don’t really know myself. I do know, however, that I can’t spend one more hour than is necessary doing what I am doing now. I still have 20 years left until I can officially retire. This corporation is not getting it. I refuse to let that happen.

Will I work for another company? Highly unlikely. Once I exit the rat race, I believe there will be no going back.

Am I having a mid-life crisis? Probably. But that can be a good thing.

Am I being immature and irresponsible? Maybe, but I tend to look at it as self-actualization. We are so conditioned by what society deems to be appropriate, that I believe we lose site of what makes us happy.

I look at it this way: nothing will change in the next 20 years unless I decide to make a change. In 20 years I’ll still be working as a wage-slave. I’ll still be owned by the corporation and the bank. I’ll be living the same over-indulgent lifestyle and likely in much poorer health; that’s if I live that long. At 64 my options will be very limited or non-existent. This way, I have the rest of my life to make choices and enjoy my freedom. Yeah, it’s risky and I could lose everything, but that’s a gamble I’m willing to take. I love the idea of not knowing what is around the next corner.

By the way, if you are genuinely happy in what you do and don’t mind the 9-5 lifestyle, then by all means, enjoy. It really comes down to a personal choice and I can only speak for myself in this regard.