Many months ago I had one dominating thought – by the way, this was prior to my bid to change my life. The question that kept nagging me, day in and day out was: What do I really want out of life?

It’s such a simply worded question, yet so meaningful in many ways. “What do I want out of life?” For once, I carefully considered this. It’s funny how, up until now, a question like that was so superficial. Years ago my answer would have been something like, more money, a high status career, and in general, a higher standard of living.

Well, I don’t know if it’s a sign of maturity, but nowadays, things like freedom and leisure time seem much more attractive. As an example, years ago, I would volunteer for as much overtime as possible. It seemed that making more money was the key to success and therefore happiness. These days, time is infinitely more important. I only work overtime when requested by the boss (and even then, I turn it down whenever possible).

Yes, I certainly value my free time these days. Besides, the government tax on overtime is horrendous.

Ok, so back to the question. Well, I would have to say that what I really want is the ability to choose. I would like more choices. I would like more freedom. Currently, I have no choices. I have worked my way into such a tight corner that I feel I can’t move.

My expenses pretty much equal my pay. I don’t have any money left over at the end of the month. If I had no debt, there would be a chance to save a little, but that’s not the case.

Being in this predicament means that I need every last cent, just to survive. I can’t have any interruption in pay without feeling the effects financially. I am literally two months from living on the street. I hate this situation; it’s very stressful.

The solution? Reduce my expenses – simple, yet effective. Cutting back my expenses will give me breathing room. It will eventually give me more choices and lower my stress level. I don’t believe it’s healthy to be operating at 110% all the time.

Going to work knowing that I’m banking a good portion of my money will be refreshing. Working, knowing that I don’t owe a cent, will seem much less stressful. It’s really a mind-set.

Yes, what I want is to have choices. To work at something I enjoy because I want to, not because I have to. To have choices when it comes to my work and leisure time. To be my own person and make decisions for myself and not the corporation. To reap the benefits of my own talents and hard work. To come and go as I please, when I please.

I’ve spent the last 20 years as a virtual slave to the system. I won’t allow myself to spend the next 20 in the same situation.

How do I plan on implementing this? I’m not sure yet – possibly a small business, a job that I actually enjoy, or maybe just a combination of living off my investments and a part-time job. Once I slash my expenses, the possibilities are endless. Oh, and so are the choices.

Well, here I am in the office. It’s just another day like so many others. I’m amazed that I’ve been able to handle it for eighteen years. I have a fifteen-minute break, so I thought I would write a few paragraphs.

I hate the office environment – sterile air, ringing phones, water coolers, office gossip, fake greetings, and pasted on smiles. Could I be the only one who feels this way? I doubt it. Most days I just feel like leaving and never coming back. Very much like the movie, “Office Space.”

My cubicle is just one among many hundreds (at least that seems like a reasonable number). The main floor is very large (at least 20,000 square feet). Along the far wall are the individual offices of the managers and senior sales. They are actual rooms with a window view. You really have to have your ass-kissing skills honed to perfection to have an office here.

Don’t get me wrong, many of the individuals with their own office, are talented and well educated. They deserve to be where they are. However, there are many people working in a cubicle on the main floor, that are just as talented, though, not as submissive to the corporation and external customers. They have a mind of there own – not that they are indifferent or lazy, just that they have stood their ground in the past when bullied by management and customers. I’m included in this group.

As a new employee starting out with this firm in 1987, I thought I had the world on a string. I had completed college in ’85 and worked as an office clerk for a company that eventually went bankrupt. I applied for a position at my current company and was hired shortly afterwards. I was bright, fresh, and eager to please. It seemed like dream come true. I had great aspirations back then, and couldn’t imagine the day would come where I literally wanted to run, screaming out of the building, never to return.

I guess I’m slightly jaded. I don’t know how many workshops, seminars, or courses it took. I don’t know how many years of office politics it took. I don’t know how many rude or irate customers it took. I only know that hope was gradually replaced with despair.

I am still putting in an honest days work. After all, I am being paid for it. I’m not the type to coast along and let others carry my weight. I might hate my situation, but the company still deserves a full day’s work.

However, I’m only here for the paycheck now. I don’t care about the corporation. I see it for what it really is. I feel no loyalty since that loyalty would certainly not be reciprocated. I don’t want a promotion. I don’t want team-building workshops. I don’t want an employee-of-the-month travel mug. I just want out.

That’s my 20 minute rant for the day. Back to work…

Selling our home is pretty much a given at this point. It doesn’t look like Donna and I will reconcile at any point in the near future. Frankly, the house now seems like a huge weight I am carrying around for no reason. As long as I am responsible for it, I will be a slave to the system.

Firstly, it’s too big for one person, and secondly, Donna will eventually want her half of the equity. I don’t have the cash on hand to buy her out, so the only logical thing to do is sell the house.

I won’t miss it, personally, since it holds no sentimental value whatsoever. In fact, it represents everything that I believe is wrong in my life at the moment.

However, the main reason for selling the house is to free up some cash so that I may pay off my debts and start a significant savings and investment account. I am hoping that by securing some investments, I will be in the position to leave my job soon.

My short-term plan is to sell the house and move back to the city. I want to try to get a place near the downtown core so that I won’t need to keep a vehicle. I’d like to either walk or take a subway to work. The money saved here will go into the “Phil Freedom Fund.”

Sorry I digress… back to selling the house. I had the real estate agent over and we worked out a few things. Several things need to be done before the house officially hits the market. Much of this is cosmetic, such as painting and repairing a few minor holes and such. I’ll be replacing the carpet in a few rooms and updating some of the plumbing fixtures.

Outside, I’ll be leveling the interlocking brick in the front walk and repairing the rear deck. There are no major repairs needed. I have replaced the roof and re-paved the driveway in the past few years.

I won’t do all this work myself. I can handle the painting and the plumbing fixtures. The rest will be done professionally. I estimate $5,000.00 to complete the work.

I’m estimating that the house will be up for sale within thirty days. I can’t wait until it’s sold.