Many months ago I had one dominating thought – by the way, this was prior to my bid to change my life. The question that kept nagging me, day in and day out was: What do I really want out of life?

It’s such a simply worded question, yet so meaningful in many ways. “What do I want out of life?” For once, I carefully considered this. It’s funny how, up until now, a question like that was so superficial. Years ago my answer would have been something like, more money, a high status career, and in general, a higher standard of living.

Well, I don’t know if it’s a sign of maturity, but nowadays, things like freedom and leisure time seem much more attractive. As an example, years ago, I would volunteer for as much overtime as possible. It seemed that making more money was the key to success and therefore happiness. These days, time is infinitely more important. I only work overtime when requested by the boss (and even then, I turn it down whenever possible).

Yes, I certainly value my free time these days. Besides, the government tax on overtime is horrendous.

Ok, so back to the question. Well, I would have to say that what I really want is the ability to choose. I would like more choices. I would like more freedom. Currently, I have no choices. I have worked my way into such a tight corner that I feel I can’t move.

My expenses pretty much equal my pay. I don’t have any money left over at the end of the month. If I had no debt, there would be a chance to save a little, but that’s not the case.

Being in this predicament means that I need every last cent, just to survive. I can’t have any interruption in pay without feeling the effects financially. I am literally two months from living on the street. I hate this situation; it’s very stressful.

The solution? Reduce my expenses – simple, yet effective. Cutting back my expenses will give me breathing room. It will eventually give me more choices and lower my stress level. I don’t believe it’s healthy to be operating at 110% all the time.

Going to work knowing that I’m banking a good portion of my money will be refreshing. Working, knowing that I don’t owe a cent, will seem much less stressful. It’s really a mind-set.

Yes, what I want is to have choices. To work at something I enjoy because I want to, not because I have to. To have choices when it comes to my work and leisure time. To be my own person and make decisions for myself and not the corporation. To reap the benefits of my own talents and hard work. To come and go as I please, when I please.

I’ve spent the last 20 years as a virtual slave to the system. I won’t allow myself to spend the next 20 in the same situation.

How do I plan on implementing this? I’m not sure yet – possibly a small business, a job that I actually enjoy, or maybe just a combination of living off my investments and a part-time job. Once I slash my expenses, the possibilities are endless. Oh, and so are the choices.

Selling our home is pretty much a given at this point. It doesn’t look like Donna and I will reconcile at any point in the near future. Frankly, the house now seems like a huge weight I am carrying around for no reason. As long as I am responsible for it, I will be a slave to the system.

Firstly, it’s too big for one person, and secondly, Donna will eventually want her half of the equity. I don’t have the cash on hand to buy her out, so the only logical thing to do is sell the house.

I won’t miss it, personally, since it holds no sentimental value whatsoever. In fact, it represents everything that I believe is wrong in my life at the moment.

However, the main reason for selling the house is to free up some cash so that I may pay off my debts and start a significant savings and investment account. I am hoping that by securing some investments, I will be in the position to leave my job soon.

My short-term plan is to sell the house and move back to the city. I want to try to get a place near the downtown core so that I won’t need to keep a vehicle. I’d like to either walk or take a subway to work. The money saved here will go into the “Phil Freedom Fund.”

Sorry I digress… back to selling the house. I had the real estate agent over and we worked out a few things. Several things need to be done before the house officially hits the market. Much of this is cosmetic, such as painting and repairing a few minor holes and such. I’ll be replacing the carpet in a few rooms and updating some of the plumbing fixtures.

Outside, I’ll be leveling the interlocking brick in the front walk and repairing the rear deck. There are no major repairs needed. I have replaced the roof and re-paved the driveway in the past few years.

I won’t do all this work myself. I can handle the painting and the plumbing fixtures. The rest will be done professionally. I estimate $5,000.00 to complete the work.

I’m estimating that the house will be up for sale within thirty days. I can’t wait until it’s sold.

I’m feeling a little low right now. Donna has gone back to stay with her mother for a while.

I tried my best to make her see what I was trying to do, and that I wanted her to be a part of that. What I succeeded in doing was to come off as some sort of raving lunatic.

I could have explained it better perhaps, but I don’t think that would have worked. She had her mind made up as to the type of lifestyle she wanted, and my “vision” was a world away. She loves our current lifestyle. I’m not judging here; after all, it was my lifestyle for years. She simply does not want to give that up. There was no way to explain it to her. She wasn’t willing to listen. In fact, she chalked it up to a mid-life crisis. Her last words were “call me when you grow up.”

I realize that many would think me a fool to part company for such a silly reason. I never said this would be easy, nor did I expect it to be. It’s going to take a tremendous amount of courage and resolve to see this through.

As hard as it is, I would never impose my ideals on someone, just as I would expect that others would not impose their will on me.

No, I’m not heartless and un-feeling. There where many other factors involved which led to Donna leaving. Many are personal.