So the way I see it, there are three paths available to me at the present time. These are:

1. The wage-slave path
2. The “nothing” path
3. The self-employed path

Number 1 is out because, as I mentioned, there is no way I will go back to the spirit-crushing world of the wage-slave. I will do whatever it takes to avoid that.

Number 2 is also out because that is just not me. I need to have a little stability. I, at least, need to know where my next meal is coming from and where I’ll be hanging my hat for the night. I suppose I could stay with friends and family, but I need my independence and self-respect – that is very important to me.

So, that leaves me with option 3. Ideally, I would like to find something that would, at least, support my meager requirements. I don’t need much, and I don’t want much – just enough to survive independently.

It would be naive of me to think that this is the easiest path – it certainly is not. However, it seems to be the key to providing me with everything I need. And what I really need now is a source of income that is entirely location independent.

I sat down with a pen a paper yesterday and really did some brainstorming. Yeah, I know it sounds kind of strange, but I have always been a “list” kind of person. This is my way of organizing my thoughts. And let me tell you, my thoughts have been all over the place in the last week or so. Once I wrote everything down, it seemed more organized and less daunting. Lately, I’ve experienced a lot of anxiety with feeling the need to be doing something – anything. Read the rest of this entry

Even though it’s been months since I turned my back on the rat-race, I still feel lost. Not to be confused with the sense of loss I felt after I actually quit that horrible job. No, this is more of an existential thing. It’s not one thing in particular, it’s everything.

I’ve had 8 months to try to find myself, and I still don’t have a clue. I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and not really accomplishing anything.

I am ok financially, for now, yet I feel as though I am still in a race against time – that I should be doing something more productive – that I should be out there gathering acorns for the winter – that I should be doing something that contributes toward society and gives me a sense of purpose.

I don’t know if I’ll ever shake that feeling completely.

In the meantime, I really, really need to do some soul-searching and serious thinking. I need an inspiration.