theratracejournal.com

Coming to terms with one’s self is absolutely critical before you can move on into the implementation stage. I experienced a huge influx of emotions from one end of the scale to the other while asking myself what I really wanted and how I truly wanted to live my life. For anyone going through this, you know exactly what I mean. You may feel ashamed by the fact that you:

- Absolutely cannot handle the 9-5 routine for one more day.
- Are letting people down.
- Are failing to live up to society’s standards.

Alternatively, you may feel ashamed by:

- Realizing you cannot live a decent life without relying on modern conveniences
- Admitting you need modern society (even though you know that a minimalist lifestyle is a much more noble way to live).
- Admitting that you really do need a job – if for nothing else, to feel useful and accepted.

Mix in a little (ok, a lot of) fear, and you’ve got a real turmoil going on. Personally, I am scared to death of becoming homeless.

If there is any advice I can give on this subject, it’s that you really need to be true to your feelings. Don’t feel ashamed, and DO NOT cover things up. Be as honest as possible and you won’t regret it down the road.

I certainly did not feel ashamed that I wanted to quit my job and live on less. I did feel a little guilt at the fact that I wanted to keep some modern luxuries. Eventually, I came to a compromise; I decided that my ideal state consisted of a combination of both worlds.

While I saw how destructive a hyper-consumer lifestyle could be, I could also appreciate the positive things that a steady income could provide.

In short, I came to terms with the fact that I would work just as much as was necessary to provide me with the necessities of life plus my handful of luxuries. I wanted to be self-reliant (that was important), so trading a few hours for a few dollars became more and more likely.

Having come to this conclusion, I also knew that I would never join the rat race again. I needed to work for myself. But, doing what?

I considered making money online, but after giving this a go for a few months; I realized that I would never make enough to live on. It was also at this time that I realized how specific my office skills were. They could not provide a decent wage unless I dropped back into the rat race. This was very apparent online as I was getting my ass kicked by high school kids. I simply did not have the skills to make money on the internet. I suppose I could have gone back to school, but it would have been a long process and success would not be guaranteed, even then.

In short; I had no skills to speak of.

I considered becoming a local handyman, but came to the conclusion that I wasn’t really that handy. I was middle-aged and somewhat bookish. It was too late to start any kind of apprenticeship.

At this point I became a little worried. After doing a full inventory of my assets, I was left feeling inadequate and ill-prepared to enter any business. Oh, did I mention my complete lack of experience in running a business?

Thankfully, things started to turn around after I moved and got settled.

What’s that saying? “It’s always darkest before the dawn.” Well, things changed in my favor one afternoon when I paid my folks a visit and they had a fellow restoring the deck out back…