Even though it’s been months since I turned my back on the rat-race, I still feel lost. Not to be confused with the sense of loss I felt after I actually quit that horrible job. No, this is more of an existential thing. It’s not one thing in particular, it’s everything.
I’ve had 8 months to try to find myself, and I still don’t have a clue. I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and not really accomplishing anything.
I am ok financially, for now, yet I feel as though I am still in a race against time – that I should be doing something more productive – that I should be out there gathering acorns for the winter – that I should be doing something that contributes toward society and gives me a sense of purpose.
I don’t know if I’ll ever shake that feeling completely.
In the meantime, I really, really need to do some soul-searching and serious thinking. I need an inspiration.
You’re definitely not alone on that one. While I don’t feel “lost”, exactly, I feel as if all those years working two crappy, dead-end jobs has permanently killed my creativity. I feel I should be creating, but I seem to be unable to form ideas. I asked for advice on this subject at whywork, and they were of the opinion that once your creativity is gone, there’s no getting it back….which, as you can imagine, is *not* what I wanted to hear. Anyway, how does one “find him/herself”? How does one go about cultivating a rich inner life? It seems that we both need the answers to these questions, in order to proceed.
Comment by AP — October 4, 2006 @ 8:48 pm