The typical newbie is…well…new, for lack of a better description. They are generally young and very impressionable. You can spot a newbie quickly, as they have an alertness (bordering on nervousness) about them. They are almost too eager to please, and will agree with almost everything.

A “new-hire,” as they are referred to in our company, is someone who is fresh out of the company’s new-hire workshop. This is a one-week session where new employees must be “oriented” to fit the company’s model. Brainwashing is a better description. This is the beginning of the end for many young people. Individuality, creative thinking, and many freedoms are sidelined as the company rhetoric is pumped up full volume to the somewhat naive participants. The newbie doesn’t stand a chance.

A week later, fully primed with a weeks worth of propaganda, the new-hire reports to work. Most will still have a child-like innocence and are very impressionable and eager to please. That’s why the newbie is usually taken under someone’s wing (a manager, normally) to be molded into the perfect employee. Once this happens, that person will never be the same. They will settle in as a small cog in a large wheel – never knowing what happened to their freedom and individuality.

Most of the office staff will have a standoffish attitude towards the new employee. I don’t know why that is, but I’ve seen it many times over the years. Is it that the more senior workers feel threatened by the enthusiastic newbie? My guess is, yes. Well, that, and the fact that they feel the new employee must earn a bit of recognition first. Office snobbery, I like to call it.

Personally, I am friendly with all new employees. I like to treat them decently, as I can remember walking into a strange office eighteen years ago, and feeling resentment and indifference from most of the people.

Once introduced, I smile and give them a friendly handshake, welcoming them to the “team.” In fact, I feel sorry for our new members. They are being blindsided and don’t even realize it. I still stand there, smile, and go on about how great the company is and how they have made a good choice. Man, talk about hypocritical – but what else can I say? I’m tempted to tell them to run and never look back, but that wouldn’t be conducive to a good teamwork environment. F**k, I hate this place.

This person will feel fortunate to have landed such a great opportunity. Little do they realize they have started down the path of the wage-slave. In the coming years they will bid for promotions, make more money, buy a house, and start a family. They will start paying bills and taxes. They will have an insatiable appetite for the latest consumer junk, and will work so much harder to obtain them. They will maintain an equilibrium of wages versus expenses. The more they make, the more they will spend. They will do this because that is simply the goal set by society. They will allow their careers to define who they are as a person. In short, they will be caught up in the rat race.