Well, I joined the masses this week and started taking public transit to work.

I live about 35km from the most northerly commuter station. I drive there and then catch one of three trains into the downtown core every morning. The drive is great because it’s in the country, nice scenery and very little traffic.

The lot is huge, so there is never an issue with finding a parking spot. I always assumed that I would have to arrive at 5am to get a spot.

I was amazed at the generous amount of space there was in each car. Plenty of room to stretch. Similarly, the ride was also very quiet and comfortable. I could learn to like this.

I caught myself nodding off a few times. I wanted to try to avoid this, as I have a bad snoring problem. Come to think of it, I also have a bad drooling problem. It’s not pretty.

So, after an hour or so of reading, sleeping, or whatever, the train arrived at Union Station – the main downtown terminal. By this time, we were very tightly packed, and it takes a while for everyone to get off. That’s the only drawback. Arriving and leaving downtown is very hectic. The terminal is filled with thousands of commuters, taking dozens of different trains and buses, all heading in different directions.

Boarding the train in the morning at the start of the line is great since there are hundreds of seats from which to choose. Boarding at Union Station in the evening is not quite as pleasant. There are literally hundreds of people trying to fill the hundreds of seats all at once. The good thing is that as we head north and make a few stops, the seats become more plentiful.

Walking from the station, I head to my office building. There is a literal sea of people (several thousand) and the only thing I can think of is how lucky I am to be walking with them and not against them.

This will take some getting used to. Usually, I simply park in the underground and take the elevator up to the lobby. Oh, what the heck, the walking can only be good, right?

By the time I am in the lobby and waiting for an elevator, I’ve lost 99% of the crowd and my day begins as usual.

I won’t lie and say that the crowds don’t bother me, they do. However, it’s short lived and most of my commute is peaceful. I didn’t realize how much a person could accomplish on a train. The thing about driving to work is that your eyes can’t leave the road for a second. There is nothing you can do while driving. I enjoy this part of the train commute and I plan to read several novels in the next little while.

I’m only 3 days into it, so I’ll let you know how it goes. I can’t wait to try this in the winter. I’m going to save hours of commuting time each day. I can put up with crowds for the peace of mind I’ll have, not having to drive through snow, sleet and ice.

I’m feeling a little low right now. Donna has gone back to stay with her mother for a while.

I tried my best to make her see what I was trying to do, and that I wanted her to be a part of that. What I succeeded in doing was to come off as some sort of raving lunatic.

I could have explained it better perhaps, but I don’t think that would have worked. She had her mind made up as to the type of lifestyle she wanted, and my “vision” was a world away. She loves our current lifestyle. I’m not judging here; after all, it was my lifestyle for years. She simply does not want to give that up. There was no way to explain it to her. She wasn’t willing to listen. In fact, she chalked it up to a mid-life crisis. Her last words were “call me when you grow up.”

I realize that many would think me a fool to part company for such a silly reason. I never said this would be easy, nor did I expect it to be. It’s going to take a tremendous amount of courage and resolve to see this through.

As hard as it is, I would never impose my ideals on someone, just as I would expect that others would not impose their will on me.

No, I’m not heartless and un-feeling. There where many other factors involved which led to Donna leaving. Many are personal.

I’m happy.

For once in my life, I feel like things are finally falling into place. I feel as though I now have choices.

Now, nothing has changed on the outside. I’m still doing what I’ve been doing for the past 20 years. However, there is one important difference. I now have hope.

The simple act of making the decision to change my life has been very powerful. I’ve lost that persistent feeling of hopelessness that has been following me around for decades.

I’ve, more or less, completed the outline for what I plan to do in the upcoming months. It’s certainly not chiseled in stone, as I’m sure things will change on a day-to-day basis, once I start implementing things.

Everything is good. It all feels great, except for one thing- I feel that once I tell the world of my plans, I will face a lot of criticism and negativity. Much of this will come from my family and friends. I’m not looking forward to this. However, I realize that in order to start living life on my own terms, I’ll have to ignore much of it.

Like so many others, I have been conditioned by society to regard this type of lifestyle (the one I am proposing) as risky, immature, and irresponsible. Society keeps us in check by frowning upon this sort of thing. Our self-worth is very much tied to what it is we do for a living.

I worry about what others will think of me. I worry about losing my “social status,” as it has taken many years to build. I fear being perceived as lazy and unproductive. Of all the hurdles I will be facing in the coming months, this will certainly be the greatest.

After all, this is going against the norms. It is certainly not how mature, responsible adults are meant to behave.

While many of us may dream of packing in the career, there are, in fact, very few who carry through with it. 95% of us simply accept it as a part of living in a civilized world. “Your livelihood is certainly something you should never gamble with.”

To prove this point, let me tell you about a conversation I had with my brother last week.

I mentioned (in theory, mind you) my plans for the future. The reaction I got was predictable. He seemed visibly upset. He immediately started lecturing me (as though talking to a small child) about how important my job was; how lucky I was to have it, as hundreds would be lining up for it if I resigned. He reminded me of how the rest of the family would react and how shameful it would be to be unemployed. He said it was too risky and that I would have to start all over eventually, with less money and vacation time.

He questioned me on my plans for the future, and when I could not tell him exactly, he told me that he thought it was the most irresponsible thing he had ever heard. Lastly, he told me that he was reacting exactly how any other family member would. He was right about that.

I never thought this would be easy, and I was fully prepared for that type of reaction. However, I’m determined to follow this through, and to not be influenced by others. I’s going to take a great deal of strength and resolve to overcome the opinions of others. Are they genuinely worried, or perhaps a little jealous?

There is no way that I can make this happen without losing some of the “prestige” and “status” that I’ve built up over the years. Frankly, I don’t care. It’s highly over-rated anyway. I’m determined to do what’s best for me.